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Adverts amuse me and bemuse me in equal measure. Nowadays does anyone buy stuff on the say-so of an ad?

 

 

Lazy Eyes

Why are hot air balloons

Always a sign of freedom?

I’ve seen their image selling cars,

Broadband internet, incontinence knickers.

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I’m glad e-books can be read in so many different ways on so many different devices, although this can make life difficult if there is more than plain text in the novel. My teen fiction e-book “Into A Cursed Land” contained images and tables. Before I uploaded it to Amazon, I checked the formatting as best I could. The book should look fine on a Kindle or P.C. but some people read stuff on their phones, and I’m not sure the pictures and specially formatted bits will come out well.  So on this post I’ve included the map, oath, and the Bully Lists from Chapter 15 (Patrols) & Chapter 24 (Demons). If you haven’t read my book none of this will make sense. If you wish to the amazon.co.uk link is on the right. Be warned Into A Cursed Land is not cosy and nice, with the central character being an anti-hero. The Images are below…

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As well as writing my own prose and poetry, some of which gets published, I am also on the selection panel for an anthology that issues editions annually. Today I got a reminder of both sides of the submitting process. I received a standard rejection letter™ in the post and a flash drive full of other people’s submissions. It was an interesting bit of timing, and provoked this blog.

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For a bit of political balance, here’s one about the leader of the opposition…

Ed Milliband

Ed Milliband, Ed Milliband,

as bland as a rubber band.

In fact Ed Milliband

Is Milli Vanilli bland.

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Here’s another political poem, I wrote a couple of weeks back during the Lib Dem conference…

“Go back to you constituencies, and prepare for obliteration”

Nick Clegg, Nick Clegg,

your promises were a pile of smeg.

You’ve the poll ratings of a rotten egg.

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I’ve been avoiding the news the last few weeks, as it’s party conference season. I have a dislike of politicians (with very, very few exceptions) but Tories are particularly boke inducing. So I wrote this poem for their party conference which has started. In the interests of political balance, I have ones from the recent Lib Dems and Labour back slapping fests which I will post up later…

Tory Party Conference Poem

Tories bore me, Tories bore me

watch their falsehoods on TV

open their mouths, my eyes glaze over

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